the Devouring Mother, and letting go of earthly relationship associations {part one}

you get the idea

We become the devouring mother, when we give in to our own fears about life. When we project them onto our offspring and cover our story with, "it's for your own good", or "I'm just trying to protect you." 


Consumptive. Soul Crushing. The devourer of the seed. Susun told me about the devouring mother back then. I'm not sure if I had even become a mother myself at that time. I do know that I was being told a piece of information that I would need to imbibe for later use, because I had an inexplainable chill run the length of my body. "Do not become a devouring mother" is what I told myself. I have recalled this mantra whenever I realize that I am being a "smother". My son, in his fresh-mouthed-bad-assness is very comfortable with reminding me- 'you need to fall back. I can handle my own business now.' And even though I worry- I can't put that in his direction. I have to proceed at this point exactly as I do for myself- with faith and complete trust. I put the time and attention in, like a thousand fold, when he was growing up- all the way until now, 16. A Man's got to be a man. A Woman has to be a woman for all that matter (If I had a daughter, that's what I would say.)

     What makes me think of this? Well, it's sort of tied into a situation about which I felt so compassionate, I wanted to offer my help. I really should have learned by now that I am to no longer "offer" this service to anyone. The person has to be inspired and sparked with the desire for transformation on such a deep level that the only thing that there is to do is to surrender to it. I mean, the clients that I attract are the ones who have such deep issues affecting their soul record, I would've been freaking out if they were my first ever client. Now, these are the cases that I crave. They're "meaty", more interesting. I am challenged multidimensionally, and I learn more.
       There are obstacles that I have to overcome, which are insurmountable, when I am offering a soul clearing to someone who is the adult "child" of someone, and I have offered and conducted the work via communication with the mother. It doesn't work if the mother's own story of personal tragedy and self-neglect are firmly rooted in and dependent upon the problems of the offspring. What would happen, then if suddenly the child were cured, completely, in a wave of the wand (it can seem like this, especially when one has been cleared of long standing soul shifting and other similar issues)? Who do we blame, then for all of our own self-created misery if the scapegoat is suddenly... Well, cured....?
       I'm not into Katie Byron's work, specifically, but her one line, "Who would you be without your story?" I've been asking myself that question lately, specifically in relation to career and finances and being a single parent. Letting all that go- it's a practice, a self-loving discipline.

1/25  I am watching and listening to Pam Gregory's January 2018 New Moon report. She touches on a lot of these themes: freedom, who are you at soul level, when all else is gone... and more. Check it out. It may be "last week", but still relevant, thank you.

Also, I adore this Mooji meditation. Remain as You Are I've shared it on my Facebook page that goes with this blog, and it's on my Meditations playlist on You Tube. https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL947DD96B0C9AE71A I really connect when he says that [paraphrasing]: "truly you have no children, or parents..." A wonderful meditation for remembering your true nature, sovereign and free. It's my go to sometimes when I blow into my apartment after a day of taking care of bizness, 
and I need to recenter and connect with my higher Truth. Plus, I like Mooji's voice. :)

(be back soon on this topic...)

XoXo- Ursula Carrie