27 January 2018

the Devouring Mother, and letting go of earthly relationship associations {part one}

you get the idea
We become the devouring mother, when we give in to our own fears about life. When we project them onto our offspring and cover our story with, "it's for your own good", or "I'm just trying to protect you." 

Consumptive. Soul Crushing. The devourer of the seed. Susun told me about the devouring mother back then. I'm not sure if I had even become a mother myself at that time. I do know that I was being told a piece of information that I would need to imbibe for later use, because I had an inexplainable chill run the length of my body. "Do not become a devouring mother" is what I told myself. I have recalled this mantra whenever I realize that I am being a "smother". My son, in his fresh-mouthed-bad-assness is very comfortable with reminding me- 'you need to fall back. I can handle my own business now.' And even though I worry- I can't put that in his direction. I have to proceed at this point exactly as I do for myself- with faith and complete trust. I put the time and attention in, like a thousand fold, when he was growing up- all the way until now, 16. A Man's got to be a man. A Woman has to be a woman for all that matter (If I had a daughter, that's what I would say.)
     What makes me think of this? Well, it's sort of tied into a situation about which I felt so compassionate, I wanted to offer my help. I really should have learned by now that I am to no longer "offer" this service to anyone. The person has to be inspired and sparked with the desire for transformation on such a deep level that the only thing that there is to do is to surrender to it. I mean, the clients that I attract are the ones who have such deep issues affecting their soul record, I would've been freaking out if they were my first ever client. Now, these are the cases that I crave. They're "meaty", more interesting. I am challenged multidimensionally, and I learn more.
       There are obstacles that I have to overcome, which are insurmountable, when I am offering a soul clearing to someone who is the adult "child" of someone, and I have offered and conducted the work via communication with the mother. It doesn't work if the mother's own story of personal tragedy and self-neglect are firmly rooted in and dependent upon the problems of the offspring. What would happen, then if suddenly the child were cured, completely, in a wave of the wand (it can seem like this, especially when one has been cleared of long standing soul shifting and other similar issues)? Who do we blame, then for all of our own self-created misery if the scapegoat is suddenly... Well, cured....?
       I'm not into Katie Byron's work, specifically, but her one line, "Who would you be without your story?" I've been asking myself that question lately, specifically in relation to career and finances and being a single parent. Letting all that go- it's a practice, a self-loving discipline.
1/25  I am watching and listening to Pam Gregory's January 2018 New Moon report. She touches on a lot of these themes: freedom, who are you at soul level, when all else is gone... and more. Check it out. It may be "last week", but still relevant, thank you.
Also, I adore this Mooji meditation. Remain as You Are I've shared it on my Facebook page that goes with this blog, and it's on my Meditations playlist on You Tube. https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL947DD96B0C9AE71A I really connect when he says that [paraphrasing]: "truly you have no children, or parents..." A wonderful meditation for remembering your true nature, sovereign and free. It's my go to sometimes when I blow into my apartment after a day of taking care of bizness, 
and I need to recenter and connect with my higher Truth. Plus, I like Mooji's voice. :)

(be back soon on this topic...)

XoXo- Ursula Carrie

25 January 2018

What a Great Show: "Kevin >probably Saves the World"

I can totally relate! I bet you can too. If you're reading this blog post you're probably just like Kevin, like me... knowingly on this mysterious mission, that you don't have all the information for, that you aren't even sure what the outcome will be, or even if it's all real and happening to you, but you are following the synchronicities because the way that they line up and stack up makes it just confoundedly undeniable: "something's" happening here. Ah, the journey of the modern Lightworker, or of anyone else who has felt that they are answering a higher calling. I don't know where the writers are going to go. It's only in it's first year. For now, I'm so digging it! I definitely want more. Check it out if you can. Sweet stuff.
Here's the trailer from last fall:
and more from a you tubber: 

23 January 2018

"Yeah, well. Ya' Have to Learn to Adapt..."

One of those things that the ex-husband said that just pissed me off so much when he said it. I said, "How can you say that!? We have to stop it!" Now, I'm going, "Damn. He's right." That's all there is to it. Whether he gave a damn or not, in reality as it was, he was just being practical.
       That was nineteen years ago and some. I was crying and complaining about the change in winters, the snow reduction I noticed, the warmer temperatures for longer in the season. Oh brother, I was in love with snow, then! Or maybe I was just like most humans and just digging my heels in and resisting change. The planet is evolving Herself. If we want to be part of the ride, it's not about trying to stop the wheels. It's pretty much finding a place where you won't get hurt, or do any harm to others, and ride along. Help where you can. Get in alignment with your own higher values. Let others do themselves. Again, help others as and however you can to the highest and best use of your own unique gifts. 
       But, this is it. Global warming is happening. It doesn't mean that we need to, as the human disruptors in this natural cycle of progression, keep going along and fucking it all to hell in the same vein. No, I don't mean, "Let's fuck up in a whole new more creative way.", either! Knowledge is power. We know what's happened, we know how to proceed with damage control. Sounds too simple? Well, it only can and will happen, the righting of the earth's evolutionary course, with humans aboard, when the individual simply attends to the right living within their own reality. A million individuals taking care of their own shit can change collective reality in this place. 
       Check this out. I wanted to show you, if you want to know how powerful it is to surrender- and adapt- look at what the birds have done with our bullshit. My son and I found this nest on the ground, at the graveyard, this past Halloween 2017. 'Way past nesting season, so we took it home. This nest that has been built, incorporating *pollyfill* into their materials... Yes, pollyfill- the 'stuff' used to stuff some pillows, stuffed animals, cheap furniture and crap. 
Now, THAT is adaptation! So, do you think that the birds complained about it? 
Big Love,
Ursula Carrie

I always say, if you don't know which way to go, or how to live well on this planet- look to the animals. They'll show you the way.